Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
