the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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