You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
