he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
