god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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