It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
