her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
