im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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