Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
