I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Randomize
