Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
