we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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