Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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