I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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