I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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