why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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