real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
