The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You're a waste of cheezeits
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I want to fling myself into the sun
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
