she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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