So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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