he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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