Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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