i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
40s are totally the cure
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
