we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
