Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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