Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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