We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
