im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
