it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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