Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
