I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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