It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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