We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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