well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
