he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
