my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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