mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize