farters have to be the big spoon...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he fucked my hip out of place.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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