Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
