My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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