Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize