Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
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He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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