i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
