your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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