You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
