I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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