Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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