They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
