Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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