Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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