No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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