Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
