i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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