we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Someone shattered a urinal.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
