Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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