I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
