'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
