He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
