the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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