just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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