Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i out mim tonsoeep
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize