I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
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I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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