yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
