I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
