God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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