i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
a search helicopter?!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
