a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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